WHY CRICUT SLAPS
a nerd-dad manifesto (from a creative sicko)
WHY CRICUT SLAPS
For Parents
You've got kids. This machine belongs in your lair.
For Thinkers
You've got a brain. Bring your ideas to life.
For Hobbyists
Precision cutter, engraver, sketcher, sticker-maker, cosplay-forge, party-hack, and gift-god.
You bring the idea. It brings it to life.
WHAT THE HELL IS A CRICUT?
Smart Machine
Cricut is a smart machine that cuts, draws, scores, and engraves over 300 materials.
Design to Reality
You design it. It slices it, writes it, builds it.
Personal Fabricator
A personal fabricator with perfect recall.
WHAT CAN IT ACTUALLY DO?
Cuts
Paper, vinyl, leather, fabric, wood, foam, sticker sheets
Draws
Pens, markers, illustrations, lettering
Scores
Folds for cards, boxes, packaging
Foils
Shiny detail on shirts, journals, invites
Engraves
Metal, acrylic, leather
Debosses
Pressed textures
Print-then-Cuts
Photos, AI art, memes = shaped stickers
Cuts fabric
No stabilizer required—Maker only
WHICH CRICUT CUTS WHAT?
🧠 I got the Maker 3.
TOOL HEADS FOR NERDS
Fine-Point Blade
Paper, vinyl, sticker sheets
Deep-Point Blade
Thick cardstock, magnet sheets
Knife Blade
Wood, chipboard, leather — Maker 3 only
Rotary Blade
Seamless fabric cuts — Maker 3 only
Scoring Stylus
Card folds, packaging — Explore/Maker
Engraving Tip
Metal, acrylic, plastic — Maker 3 only
Foil Tip
Shiny accents — Explore/Maker
Pens/Markers
Draw, write, illustrate — all models
Deboss Tip
Pressed textures — Maker 3 only
MATERIALS YOU CAN SLICE
Vinyls
HTV, Smart, glitter
Papers
Sticker papers, printables, cardstock, watercolor paper, vellum
Leather
Faux + real
Fabric
Cotton, felt, denim—no stabilizer
Wood
Balsa, basswood
Hard Materials
Metal + acrylic (engraving), chipboard, magnet sheets, canvas, foil, foam
This is a real machine. For real projects.
GAMER / MODDER MODE
Console Customization
Decals for Steam Deck, Switch, PS5, Xbox, laptops
Controller & Hardware
Controller wraps, handheld skins, dock labels
Collection Enhancement
Amiibo cards, display sleeves, collector inserts
Setup Personalization
Mousepad art, PC case stickers
Gaming Accessories
Shelves, prop stands, DnD trays, tokens
You're not a consumer. You're a manufacturer.
COSPLAY, COMICS, COLLECTION BUILDS
Costume Creation
Foam armor, masks, props
Metal Accents
Engraved metal tags, plates, bookmarks
Display Solutions
Cardboard backers, packaging
Branded Items
Foiled logos, custom bags, pins
Wearable Accessories
Leather cuffs, patches, sticker runs
You want it? You build it.
FAMILY MODE
Custom Apparel
Custom shirts with their favorite character
Educational Fun
DIY puzzles, magnets, flashcards
Celebration Essentials
Party packs: toppers, banners, tags
School Projects
Polished school projects
Quality Time
Shared craft time that works
Look cool. Make memories. Keep your hands busy.
DIGITAL → PHYSICAL
AI art → sticker
Transform AI-generated images into tangible stickers
Photoshop file → leather patch
Convert digital designs into durable leather accessories
Illustrator vector → foil label
Turn vector graphics into shimmering foil labels
Procreate sketch → metal engraving
Engrave your digital sketches onto metal surfaces
MidJourney chaos → fridge magnet
Transform AI-generated art into functional magnets
Your art becomes an object.
DESIGN SPACE = EASY
Upload Your Files
Upload your own files
Simple Editing
Drag and drop designs
Resize, position, tweak
Ready Resources
Templates, tutorials, ready-to-go projects
Software Compatibility
Compatible with: Canva, Procreate, Illustrator, Photoshop, Figma
No friction. Full control.
WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID
"It's just opened up my creativity so much in this digital world. Making things with my hands, or things I can hold—for all my hobbies—it's kind of magic. I host parties. I make gifts. I love AI tools and Photoshop and the Cricut ties it all together. It's special. It makes shit real. Anyone can do it too. You don't need to be a 'crafter.' You just need a brain and the urge to make." — Alexis
OK CHAD, HERE'S THE MOVE
1
Build Worlds
You already build worlds in your head. This machine lets you hold them.
2
Make It Real
You've got kids, hobbies, fandoms, ideas. Cricut turns all of it into real things.
3
Level Up
Your art becomes merch. Your gamer brain becomes tangible. Your family wins, your workspace levels up.
Get the Maker 3. Get a cutting mat, some vinyl, and a weird idea. Plug it in. Ruin your free time in the best way possible. Join the craft cult. No glitter required.